Required Rest and Renewal

Something I’ve learned and confirmed while on sabbatical is that I have a hard time sitting still. I get stir crazy. I feel as if I’m only as productive as whatever I’ve gotten checked off the list. For those of you familiar with Strengths Quest or Enneagram personality stuff, I come out as an Achiever for both.

I’ve often quoted from David Zahl’s book, Seculosity. He seems to get my mental attitude, even if I’d be embarrassed to admit it aloud. “Listen carefully and you’ll hear that word enough everywhere, especially when it comes to the anxiety, loneliness, exhaustion, and division that plague our moment to such tragic proportions. You’ll hear about people scrambling to be successful enough, happy enough, thin enough, wealthy enough, influential enough, desired enough, charitable enough, woke enough, good enough. We believe instinctively that, were we to reach some benchmark in our minds, then value, vindication, and love would be ours—that if we got enough, we would be enough.”  If I do enough or get enough done, then I feel validated and vindicated.

We all have different measuring sticks by which we calculate our enoughness. And we tend to do it relentlessly.  God seems to know that about us: our striving, our doing, our constant pursuing. So much so, that one of the big ten commandments God hands down is…. REST! Specifically rest to come and listen to God speaking a word of promise to/for you. That God wants you to come and receive and not achieve. Time set aside to be reminded that you are more than just what you accomplish. Sabbath. Rest. Renewal in the grace of God. Beloved, because God has decided it so.

In that spirit, the Lily Clergy Renewal Grant, required a proposal that had built in rest. So following the busyness of Rome, we’ve spent the last several days in the beach town of Monterosso, one of the five towns of Cinque Terra. Instead of getting out the door to arrive at sites before they get busy, we had laid back mornings. We wandered to the beach. We did family pictures with the Lenzs. We ate a leisurely breakfast. And also hopped on the train to see some of the other beach towns. And, of course, we stuck with our daily serving(s) of gelato.

One quick story in theme with the post here. Last night after dinner we wandered down the hill to find gelato and Addy pointed into the town church. With nothing demanding we get there on time, we wandered in and sat in a front pew. First, she pointed out as many of the “babies” she could find. This has been her favorite thing to do. You’d be surprised how many baby Jesus-es with Mary and baby cherubs there are.  And I hope you can imagine us walking through churches and museums in Rome with her pointing and exclaiming “baby!”

Afterward we sat in silence and watched the church ladies change out the flowers and beautify the alter. Several times I bent down and whispered in Addy’s ear, “ice cream?” She shook her head no. So, we just sat as the only ones in the sanctuary watching the Altar Guild. After the third head shake, in the negative, I clued in. Rest. Renew. Just be. And put my arm around my baby girl and thanked God for these blessings. Slowing down to have my eyes opened to God’s grace.